I feel a lot of guilt about having to work and leave you all day. Often times I feel like I need to make up for it when I get home in the evenings. Then I wonder if I am being selfish by not working harder to get you to bed earlier. I cherish our evenings though.
Then there are the days I am tired and exhausted from the stress of work. Perhaps also getting sick catching whatever cold you are sharing with me from child care this week. You may not be happy and together we are both a bit fussy. These are the days I pray you might want to take a nap with me in the evenings and rest, but invariably you don’t. Then I have my guilt over cheating by putting on a Disney movie to help me entertain you so I can get a few minutes to just breathe.
This morning I needed to drop things off at a few work locations and your dad is working so I took you with me. I like to think the two of us are on an adventure together. This maybe being our first adventure. We stop for pancakes and eggs and everyone marvels at how happy you are. I talk to you like you could talk back with me and I feel like you understand more than you let on.